The Hero is the Health Knight, valiantly fighting to save the residents of Skellytown from evil members of the Symptoms gang of Illness, injury, and pain that ravage the countryside. So on with the show!
Prologue
It seems the dreaded Symptoms Gang have extended their membership, and brought the dreaded muscleman Fatiguer into it’s fold. Did that foretell the gathering of more musclemen in Skellytown? Will the Health Knight, with his loyal steed, Steed, and his squire Intervention find a way to scupper their plotting before the situation becomes worse? Will Joy get fed up with fading standard of living in Skellytown and extend her vacation in perpetuity? Find out now in the first episode of (booming voice) ‘The Mysteries of Skellytown’ (end booming voice) starting now!
Logue
Weeping weakness, Health Knight, the Muscle Flow look to be doing well! There is little sign of the Adi-posse in view, and the hills seem toned and healthy! Are the Function Fibers just pulling our leg?
That’s what I thought , Squire, and I’ve been ignoring them for months. Last week I rode my loyal steed, Steed, to the Jaw-Tooth Gap and witnessed it struggling to execute an easy Chewing my self. And not a Chewing out of a interpersonal relations, through verbal enunciations, but the Chewing of a carrot that had entered it’s Yawning Cavern. Jaw-tooth is one of the Primal Princes of the Function Fibers, and it’s struggle was very real. The Arm-Fist had to offer an assist, to get the carrot into shape for the Swallow to take over.
Bolus Biting, Health Knight! If the Jaw-tooth starts to fail, the Taste Buddies will have to get by with less! They are a big part of the entertainment industry in Skellytown, especially with Joy on vacation! This is a catastrophe!
More than you know, Squire. The rest of the Function Fibers have been complaining of pain and weakness as well - complaining even more than usual. There are signs of the Fatiguer’s activity all through the Muscle Flows, all around Skellyville. Fatiguer is a notorious socialite. He almost never turns up alone. We need to find who he’s with and what scheme he is working on. The Jaw-Tooth problem isn’t his style though. I’m worried about one of his mates acting there.
Multiple Miscreants, Knight! Do we have any hints, who we should look out for?
With the amount of traffic in the Yawning Cavern, Squire, it can’t be a lack of Nutrit-Shawns. There may be trouble in the Chewing, but there is a lot of mushy mastication occurring, and there are Nutri-Shawns a plenty. They are occasionally raising a fuss in the Gut, but nothing new there. I’m worried that the Symptoms gang are fomenting a labour dispute with the Hemo-Goblins, and the Myo-Goblins, and they have initiated a work slowdown. The Circu-nation was doing fine, in the recent evaluation, so it’s only a problem with the goblins in that local.
Overworked Oxidisers, Health Night! The Neuro Ones and the Autoimmunites say that they’re not having any problems - or any problems that they haven’t had for years. If the Arm fist needs to assist in the Jaw-Tooth gap…that’s not sustainable!
The Arm-Fists are complaining every time they have to move, Squire. Just the finger fiddling as the External Minister communicates with his peers is enough to raise complaint. They haven’t done anything yet, outside of complaining loudly all the time, but if the Function Fibres are loosing control of the workers in the trenches and the Circu-nation is looking at labour problems at the same time, the Symptoms Gang will be able to create havoc! It’s particularly bad timing, with the Brain Trust occupied by interpersonal trade negotiations, and it seems the rumors of interpersonal terrorist activities are not just talk.
Violent Viruses, Knight! If disasters are hitting the interpersonal world, how much help is available for us?
The world outside is near panic, Squire. The interpersonal terrorists, Covid-19, are running wild through the world, and it’s affecting the Brain Trusts ability to coordinate Interpersonal relations - there has been a significant slowdown in interpersonal trade. The Brain Trust is getting worried, and our trade deficit could start causing problems soon, even without labour troubles here. Joy dropped me a note to say how nice it is on vacation, and I’m worried she might not come back.
Epilogue
Will the Fatiguer and his friends activities lead to Joy extending her vacation indefinitely? Will internal labour unrest and the Global Covid-19 response interrupt interpersonal trade enough to effect GDI (Gross Dietary Intake)? Find out in the next episode of (booming voice) The Mysteries of Skellytown (end booming voice) coming eventually to a spot just below here. [This whole pandemic thing is effecting the timing of further episodes].
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Prologue
Last time on (booming voice) The Mysteries of Skellytown (end booming voice) the Health Knight, his faithful steed, Steed, and squire, Intervention were trying to determine the cause of labour unrest, and worried about falls in the GDI (Gross Dietary Intake). Would the causes of this new hardship be found? Would Joy extend her vacation indefinitely? Find in the second episode of (booming voice) The Mysteries of Skellytown (end booming voice).
Logue
Genuflecting Gene’s, Health Knight, That readout. That’s not right!
Yes it is, Squire. Rotten, but right. The myo-goblins and hemo-goblins aren’t the problem. We’ve been fighting a up-CAGed G-nome this whole time! Burrowed deep where we wouldn’t wise up. We know the name of the enemy, and it’s the G-nome Kennedy.
Isn’t he the G-nome at the Spinal Bull Bar? Muscle Atrophy is his M.O. Can we help the muscles master this mighty foe?
He’s hits the muscles that frequent the Spinal Bull Bar hard, but not directly. He nukes the muscly Neuro-Ones and it’s nasty. They fill with pretend proteins, clogging communications. The clogged Neuro-Ones never learned to eject waste products, so drown in the plethora of pretend proteins! Half the muscles never get word to work, so atrophy annoyingly. With only some muscles working, weakness is wearing…and wearying. Cramping Pain plays along.
But Health Knight, do we only need a Neuro-net toilet to clean things up?
Not that easy, Squire. The Neuro-Ones are sphincterless. Protein ejaculation is a different specialty. That specialty is atrophied as well, but that’s a whole different junk problem.
Can we find the G-nome and sequence him right, Knight?
He’s everywhere, Squire. We’d need to fix him in every D’NAtion. It would be total war. Our only hope is more massive mitigation. That’s our mission. Physio’s therapying and good Nutri-Shawns…if mushy ones.
Is that enough, Sir Knight? If the Neuro-Ones are drowning in putrid proteins does having physio’s theropying help? Does that increase the production of the putrid proteins?
We’ll have to do some research, Squire. We’ll have to do some research.
Epilogue
Is this the end of the Knight’s struggles to maximise Joy’s time in Skellyville? Is the research liable to rectify the reality of retiring muscly Neuro-Ones? Are Physio’s therapying and mushy Nutri-Shawns enough? Find out next time on (booming voice) The Mysteries of Skellytown (end booming voice).
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